story time
so about 7 months ago, my girlfriend at the time asked me to move in. so i did and we lived together for roughly 6 weeks. she asked me to move out until i was mature enough to live with a girl because in those 6 weeks i drew a dick on her face while she was sleeping 11 times.
(via shelbayyyyyyyy)
Source: emilioestevez
Source: notahoe
im gonna make a movie that’s titled “WILL SOMETHING SCARY HAPPEN?” and it will feature an hour and a half of someone walking around their house in the dark doing various things that COULD be the prelude to something scary but nothing actually scary will happen until after the credits when spooky scary skeletons will play
(via trillow)
Source: brandisbigbootybitches
Source: meladoodle
will u still love me when im no longer young and ok looking
(via g-y-p-s-y-h-e-a-r-t-s)
Source: earthnation
do animals think in english or in the sounds they make
this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
(via pizza)
he’s makin a list
checkin’ it twice!
gonna find out if you’re middle class and white
(via fake-mermaid)
Source: richwhitelesbian
i can’t have a soul mate because i have no soul
(via pizza)
Source: partybarackisinthehousetonight
what if with our first clot of air when we are born we inhale a soul, and every time we breathe out, we squeeze a tiny part of our souls out. would our final breath actually be the very last soul fragment leaving our bodies?
Woah woah wait
you know those things that say “you become like the 5 people you hang out with the most”
that would explain why, because you would actually be inhaling little parts of them over time
Oh my god
(via pizza)
Source: demeaniac
